Aiman Syaaban Hj Azahari Manual Guide For Dummies

Aiman Syaaban Hj Azahari Manual Guide For Dummies

1. I LOVE (note that it's in capital and bold letters) my privacy and my very own personal space, i.e my room.

2. I NEED my space to unwind and think, invasion of my personal space and privacy will cause me to be dysfunctional and very pissed off.

3. expect foul languages from me when i am dysfunctional and pissed off.

4. expect EXTREME foul languages when my privacy and my personal space is being invaded by unwelcome invaders.

5. I have a MAJOR mood swing, thus leave me alone in my personal space when i am in that condition. phone calls, sms, YM messages, e-mails, fax or any sort of communication will be ignored till further notice.

6. I Hate, I repeat I HATE cheerful and happy people, especially those who are happy and cheerful for no reason at all.

7. I acknowledge the existence of people who are happy and cheerful and friendly (though i personally believe that they should be admitted in a mental asylum) , i respect their values, but i want nothing of any sort to do with them or be anywhere near them.

8. Dry, morbid sarcasm and cynicism makes me happy/ laugh/ feel warm inside.

9. I am nice on normal basis.

10. I don't believe in happy and cheerful people. i believe that the smile and the warm fuzzy attitude comes with a hidden agenda.

11. I believe it's OK to be happy and cheerful for no apparent reason at the age of 5, at the age of 10 one should start ask questions and lessen on the happy cheerful attitude, questions like "why is the color of moon sometimes look orangy" or " where do babies come from" are expected when human are of this age. At 15 bigger issues and questions should be ask like why is my name so and so, what is the meaning of my name, why was i born on so and so date, and so on and so forth. At 20 bigger and bigger questions should be asked, and the whole process repeat everyday till one finds the answers.

12. Please amuse me with interesting information and facts ( what ever you see as interesting).

13. I am not good in making small talks, I am busting my ass to learn how to do small talks, but alas, my forte is not in doing small talks.

14. I dont adopt stray from the street into my house. i don't see that as a form of charity. i organize charity donation / campaign, and give that money to the poor. that is as far as i go.

15. I am a firm believer in good manners, values and etiquette.

16. I am also a firm believer of courtesy smile.

17. I tend not to share my thoughts or feelings because for me that is private matter.

18. I don't appreciate sympathy smile/ look/ gesture/ words. things happen for a reason and it is meant for me to go through it.

19. I will try my best to conduct myself in a manner to not to step on the boundaries set by people around me and i have no intention of invading your privacy, thus i expect others to do the same to me.

20. all these may sound very individualistic, yes i know, but that is how i function.

21. I can tolerate rumors about me (for me it's a good marketing tool, there is no such thing as bad publicity) but not invasion of my private space.

22. I also can't tolerate UTTERLY shallow and idiotic people.

23. Other than that, i can actually tolerate a whole lot of shits/ packages/ things/ situation.

enough said

digging for ideas

A friend ask me to write a 10-15 minutes monologue. it's a part of the 4 monologues their are going to perform in April. having nothing else to do, i gladly accepted his offer, i was happy, saying to myself, " yes! akhirnya, something to do!" so today i sat down and started to write the script, it was all good, i was in my har-har happy land of imagination digging stuff out for the monologue, and i manage to dig out this idea of man talking about the malaysian politic and the malay dilema ( in today's context, not the Mahathir's malay dilema cause i thought it would be too heavy for the audience to digest Mahathit's version of the malay dilema), and he is a patient in a mental asylum with a multiple personality disorder and he was a politician before he was admitted.

Though i know it won't get me the Tony Award nor the Boh Cameronian Award, i thought it was a cool thing to do, a man playing 3 character and in the end audience would realise that he is actually a mental patient with multiple personality disorder who is in a mental asylum when a nurse camos in and bring him in to take his meds.

so i gave my friend - the one who asked me to write the script - to read it, after 20 minutes, he came to my room and say this, " man, aku suka idea kau, tapi aku rasa cam berat sgt dow issue dia, yang datang nnt ada dalam 3-5 sekolah asrama, aku takut bebudak takleh digest idea kau dow, lepas tu mamat ni, sapa kau nak suruh berlakon? kau ingat sini senang nak carik? aku pukul kau karang! tulis lain, kali ni yang light-light ye sayang..."

so yes, 5 minutes later, here i am, writting this entry. trying to dig another idea for the monolugue, something light-light. not something heavy and dogmatic. something straight forward, and something close to me (criteria set by that friend). so yes... i am still digging, so far no idea yet, only dirts. help, anyone?

enough said.