Thursday, January 05, 2006

u dont know what i did last weekend....

The trip back to KL was very refreshing. It gave me the chance of reflecting myself; catch up with an old friend (rarely got the chance to do that since I’m like forever stuck in melaka doing Allah knows what), got a few reading materials, bla bla bla…it was fun, it was refreshing, it was mind opening, was short but nice.

Went down to help mali’s mom with her newly operational canteen in Bandar Tun Razak secondary school. It was weird to be in school again, even though it was not my school. To see the kids running around the school, to see the school jocks walking around the canteen with every other kids look them with awe, wishing that it would be them walking and everyone else looking at them with that nature. To see the school dweebs hanging out with other nerdy kids (sorry, no offence to the ex-nerdy in school), and also having to watch some high school romance going around. Not to forget, the anxiety and heart thumping experience of the form one students facing their 1st day of high school. It made me miss my school, the dreading 5 years of love-hate relationship all of us had while we were in school. How irony it is to recall how much I wish to be out from that dreaded school faster than I can say “kill me now” and now, as I am no more in that period, I wish I can just turn back time so that I can stay there just a little bit longer. Just a little bit longer.

We went to see kak ujie (the psychotic kak ujie…hehehehehe…despite her psychotic ness we still adore and love her), it’s been a while since I last saw her. She got herself a new haircut and she quit her job (after listening to her story, we agree with her on her decision quitting her job). She told us that she’s going crazy with her current situation, but we know it not going to happen. Well, she is among the small number of really strong people that I personally know. We talked for hours, catching up from where we left to gossiping about some other people to soul searching motivational talk. She’s one hell of a woman. We talked about graphic arts, to writings, to theatre, to filming…and all the other arts shit.

When we were talking about penulisan, we were discussing about this one writer/director (I wont be mentioning the name) and how his/her way of writings can be harmful to the society. At one point I do agree with her, that perhaps his/her writings and films boleh membahayakan the future society’s mentality dari segi kemungkinan yang the next generation akan mula menghalalkan apa yang haram. But then again, if we see from yet another perspective, other than his/her own personal dogma and motives, his/her works can actually teach us to love one another, enough about cinta antara ahmad dan aminah, we can actually see a bigger picture of the love concept. Not limited to ahmad and aminah’s love but bigger. And perhaps, with that, there will be no more racial doubts, wars and every other catastrophe cause by lack understanding of the whole concept of love.

Ok. Mungkin that person ada motives and dogma tersendiri untuk disebarkan, but then again, which writer yang menulis without any motivation and ideology? I was thought that every piece of arts be it painting, writing, dances, acting ada terselit kalau tak banyak, sikit “dakwah” yang nak disampaikan oleh pelakunya. And I strongly belief that the society is pandai (I use the word pandai cause I cant find the word inbetween wise and intelligent) enough to know which is good “dakwah”for then and which is not.

While we were discussing about that, it came out that a best friend of mine, by pen name of AKMA, announced to us that he is planning to stop doing what he is doing now by the age of 30++ because he feels that the whole “art world/society” lebih banyak buruk dari baiknya. Kak ujie smiled when she heard that and she gave him a piece of advice that really attracts my attention. She said, “ kenapa nak berhenti menulis? If u have the talent for it and your motivation is right, kenapa perlu berhenti berkarya?” she also said, (and I believe) that talent itu adalah kurniaan Allah taala and that if we ignore that talent, it would be consider as an act of tidak bersyukur. Bukan semua orang dianugerahkan Allah taala bakat untuk seni, or at least sadar yang mereka ada bakat untuk seni. Jadi apalah salahnya untuk mengunakan bakat yang ada itu untuk membuat kerjaan yang baik? And it doesn’t mean that kita perlu menghambakan diri sepenuhya untuk jalan itu and not doing anything else. You can still berkarya while you are having a steady job.

She mention about orang seni ada obligation yang lebih besar dari orang-orang lain, for example, an accountant ada obligation pada tuhannya, keluarganya, and also pada societynya by doing his work with honesty. But untuk orang seni, obligationnya bukan sahaja untuk tuhannya, dan keluarganya so that they are well feed, and cloth over their bodies and have a roof over their head, but also to give the society a bimbingan so they would be a better society di mata Allah taala. Pokoknya ikhlas. I like her analogy of ikhlas; she said, katakanlah aiman takde duit nak makan, and kak ujie pun duit cukup-cukup je untuk lepas makan tapi sebab kesiankan dekat aiman kak ujie pun bagilah 50 henggit, and kak ujie pesan, “aiman, duit ni kak ujie bagi just untuk aiman makan” and aiman agree on that. Tetiba esoknya, mali call kak ujie bagitau yang aiman used the 50 henggit yang kak ujie bagi tu untuk beli shabu and pot. Kak ujie tak boleh nak marah, sebab niat kak ujie in the 1st place bagi aiman duit is for you to go and makan, but u decided to use that money to go and buy drugs. Kalau u feel that u cant bear the consequences of your action of bagi duit tu, jangan bagi from the 1st place. Sebab Allah lihat and test niat sebenar kak ujie masa bagi duit tu, and bukan after that, the action after that is your ujian. The same thing applies to him, kak ujie said. Jangan risau pasal orang salah intepritasi karya awak, kalau niat dari mula tu untuk Allah taala. He has His way of making sure others understand the good “dakwah” you’re trying to spread. And I sincerely hope that, that dear friend of mine AKMA, will not go on with his intention of stop writing and producing after the age of 30++, because I sincerely believe that you have the god-given talent to write and produce other than the fact that you are among the creative brains that I’ve ever meet. I’m not saying this because you are among my closes, in fact my best buddies, but because I’ve seen your work and I judge it from a stranger’s point of view.

Enough crapping, I am very tired and I really need a rest. So insyaallah, kalau ada masa and benda lagi, I’ll go on writing in this blog page of mine. Be it ada ke tak ada ke orang nak baca..hehehehehehe….
Enough said.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

cet, aku yg dok bacer ko sendri tak tahu. Allah saje yg tahu baper ribu kali aku dah dtg blog ko ni.

wei,tukar la link aku tu !!!